Date? Yes wait WHAT?
by xx-until.I.die-xxx
Summary: Another conversation between Jack and Ianto. Annoyed fluff... I got bored okay! Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

"Jack! I can only take so much! I live, I breathe, I work, I'm always there to iron _your_ shirts and take_ your _clothes to the dry cleaners. I make _you_ coffee, clean _your _office and do the majority of _your_ paper work. What more do you want"?

"I want you to be alive. Not just live and work. Ianto I want you to enjoy yourself from time to time. _Be human_"!

"I AM HUMAN"!!!

"Then act like on Yan! Go get pissed, have a one night stand, make mistakes, be brilliant, smile, laugh, make coffee, wear jeans and don't hide away".

"I'm not hiding anything _Sir_. You just haven't been bothered finding the right questions to ask me. You want to know things, then ask some bloody questions"!

"Alright then, what is your name… Full name"?

"Ianto Jones… What a deep and meaningful question".

"Do you like pizza"?

"Uh, yeah".

"Red wine"?

"Sorry"?

"Do you like red wine"?

"Usually. Why are you asking about my food preferences"?

"Ianto Jones, would you like to go on a date…-"

"Wait what"?

"Good! I'll see you tonight after work. Meet me in my office as soon as everyone goes home. And don't make me come and get you from the archives _and_ remember, I can track you, so don't try to hide".

"May I ask where we are going _Sir_"?

"Take a guess".

"Red wine and pizza"?

"Oh you are brilliant"!

"Ah you are _so funny_".

"I know… See you later".

"Where are you going"?

"To do MY OWN paper work. Problem"?

"No… _bastard_".

"I heard that"!

"Good"!

"Watch it! I'm your boss"!

"I make your coffee".

"_Fuck_".

"I heard that"!


	2. Date conversations

**Yet again I cannot claim to be the genius behind Torchwood. Frustratingly enough, it is RTD that owns it all :| **

**Please rate and review, and to all those people who commented on the punctuation, I hope this is a bit better :)  
**

"How long is this going to go on for?"

"Ages."

"More drinks?"

"Just a water please."

"Fine, I'll be back in a minute."

"…"

"…"

"So do you have any siblings?"

"I haven't even put the drinks down. And yes, I have a sister."

"What's her name?"

"Um, that depends on if you are going to track her down or not."

"Ianto, one day someone will have to find her… And you know why."

"Jack. We are not discussing my death. My sisters' name is Rhiannon."

"Right okay. Ianto and Rhiannon… I like it."

"Good?"

"Mmm, who is your best friend?"

"Toshiko."

"Who's the best boss you've ever worked for?"

"It's between you and Yvonne Hartman, and another grumpy café owner."

"I can walk better in high-heels that Yvonne, I'll tell you that now."

"I guess I'm not surprised."

"Never doubt my talents, Ianto."

"Oh I won't. Don't worry about that Sir."

"Good, what do your parents do for a living?"

"Nothing."

"What? How-…"

"They're dead."

"Oh. Sorry Yan, I didn't think about that. How come you never told me?"

"If I told you, would you have treated me differently? I don't like people being sympathetic to me, it's too awkward."

"I suppose so. But Ianto, you could have at least told me."

"Different question."

"Where is your favourite place in the world?"

"Um. That's a hard question actually. There was a tree at my old house that I loved to sit in."

"I cannot imagine you climbing trees."

"Sir, with all due respect, you probably can't imagine me doing a lot of things."

"That is probably true, but you can always show me later."

"Maybe. Probably."

"I still can't imagine you climbing trees."

"I was really quite good. Never meet a tree I couldn't climb."

"You were a different person when you were younger."

"Jack, I'm still only in my 20's."

"Gosh, I guess that makes me a cradle snatcher."

"Dirty old man."

"Oh hush, you. Jail-bait."

"Oh really? Jail bait? That's new."

"Ianto. What are we going to do once this is finished?"

"I don't understand."

"What will we talk about once the questions run out?"

"Many things, Jack, but why don't we wait for that to happen?"

"Yes I suppose so. Ianto, are we going back to your place or mine?"

"I wasn't aware of us going anywhere."

"Oh you're an exhibitionist are you?"

"My place. Definitely mine."

**Please rate and review, because that would make me smile :)**


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